Dear Abby of the Real World

I used to read Dear Abby and Ann Landers when I was a kid, and I recently started reading them again. I always liked the car crash aspect of it, almost like listening to "Dr." Laura on the radio, but without the supersized judgment with extra guilt. I was curious to see the Abby/Landers take on our country's newfound conservatism and to see if they started to reflect this latest craze in their columns. From what I remembered, they both had the MYOB philosophy when it came to being offended by things that your neighbors were doing.

So on Friday I read this:
Dear Abby
"I live in a family-oriented neighborhood. My problem is my next-door neighbor flies his gay pride flag in his front yard. Because we have a lot of families with young children who do not need to be subjected to that kind of thing, I have asked him numerous times to remove it."

(it continues...)
"I strongly feel that in a neighborhood devoted to children's morals and the way life should be, he should not be allowed to have that flag in his front yard for everyone to see. I threatened if he didn't take it down, I'd call the police. I feel it's harming the children to see that flag flying, especially on a busy street that everyone travels on. What should I do?" -- RIGHTEOUS IN ...



Hmmm...I thought. Very clever of this writer to drop the charade and just say it like it is: Family-oriented = hate the gays.

I live in San Francisco. Gay couples with children are a fact. It is reality. Gay people get married all the time. Ok, don't call it marriage, whatever. But it happens in churches, synagogues, city hall, and numerous ballrooms, parks, beaches and private homes in SF (and all around the country). Closing your eyes doesn't make it go away. You either live in this world with the rest of us, or you watch your world get smaller and smaller every single day. Look at what's happened over the past 4 years. The president (Dubya) even said that he's ok with civil unions. Imagine that. He'll never actually do anything about it though, but it's on the record. What Vermont did a few years back is now the MODERATE position. Things move forward. Society moves forward. Sure, there are hiccups every now and then, (more now, but still...) but progress cannot be stopped. Even looking back from when I was in HS, the early 80's, seems like a foreign world in this regard. I had no clue how to react to the two boys making out at my school. I knew one of them from elementary school. I didn't like what they did, but I didn't know why, and I really didn't care. I also didn't like people who smoked and drank, and those Black Sabbath heavy metal guys were also on my list. Of course I went to college, appreciated some heavy metal music, drank and smoked and (no, not that) met some other guys who were gay.
It was all no big deal. I said "Whatever", alot.

So, back to Dear Abby. How's she going to play this? Pure "what about the children" fear and small-mindedness or "just the facts, ma'am." She didn't let me down.

"First of all, calm down."

A good start. Of course Abby needs to include the "unless there are codes or restrictions..." there's nothing you can do.
And then she adds:
"Rather than picking a fight about something so insignificant, you should concentrate on cultivating your own garden and stop obsessing about what's going on in his."

I think the kids call that a "smackdown." (or is it now "Pwn3d")



And yes, I'm "aware" of "my" problem.
I've got to "stop" using "the quotes."